Friday, May 10, 2013

Things To Do When Life Makes You Cranky



1. Read good quotes:

All mankind is divided into three classes: those who are immovable, those that are moveable and those that move. (Benjamin Franklin)

Put 100 clever people into a group; they lose their intelligence. (Carl Jung)

Most people would rather die than think.
In fact they do. (Bertrand Russell)

2. Watch TED talks.
3. Get distracted by the sidebar and watch Einstein, the parrot.
4. Somehow discover that the Mantis Shrimp is your new favorite animal. In a moment of synchronicity, The Oatmeal thought so too.
5. Go hiking to clear thoughts. Scientific evidence of what you already knew. Read blogs and discover a natural place called Flin Flon.
6. Look at or make art.
7. Write lists.
8. Say yes to people in a real crisis. Say no to people who are not.
9. Read The Peter Principle for amusement.
10. Realize that there is a theme here.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Outsourced


Just as I thought I was "winning", they keep calling me back...

Local time: 9:30 pm

"Jennifer": May I speak to Racnaroth Cryptopeles?
Me: Who?
Jennifer: *giggles* Am I pronouncing that correctly?
Me: Sure, if you're looking for Racnaroth Cryptopeles.
Jennifer: We need a moderate payment of 1.50.
Me: If I pay a "moderate" one dollar fifty you'll stop calling me?
Jennifer: *GIGGLES HYSTERICALLY* Noooooooooou!!! A payment of $150 is needed.
Me: You realize that I cancelled your services 3 months ago?
Jennifer: *typing*
Me: Where are you calling from?
Jennifer: St. Louis, Ohio.
Me: They moved St. Louis to Ohio? No wonder...
Jennifer: *click*

Sigh.