Saturday, March 8, 2014

I Blame Coffee For My Impertinence


I was walking, enjoying the crisp winter air and a sinfully good latte, when a woman approached me eager to hand me a flyer.  Usually, I shake my head politely and silently regret the waste of paper; but this time I was under the influence of COFFEE, so I stopped to listen.

In a very self assured tone she declared: "The final judgement is coming, the signs are here, the world is coming to an end."

*sip* I had finally met one of those nice folks on the Internet. 

"When exactly is that going to happen," I asked.

"The date cannot be known, but  very soon", she claimed.

"Within the next 60 years?"

"It is not known."

"Shouldn't we do something about it other than wait to be saved? End violence, poverty, greed and war..."

"We have been ruled by the devil for 6000 years. He is very powerful. He was put in charge of this world."

Hmmh. "If the devil is in charge then that would mean that this is actually HELL. How the frack did I end up here???!?"

I left while she deeply contemplated this novel concept. They do make great coffee in hell though.

13 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. For those who wish to control human behavior.

      Delete
    2. @laoch Religion, food, technology, environment, something has always controlled our behavior.

      @dbs, yup. :)

      Delete
  2. Headphones! Avoiding people like that is the main reason I always wear them when I'm out. Sometimes I don't even have anything playing. Someone tries to get my attention, I just nod, smile, pretend I can't hear what they're saying & continue on my way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Genius! But then you do not get to overhear interesting conversations for the blog.
      Interesting? What the heck am I talking about?!

      Delete
  3. This post is probably about reason #78 why I like you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have a list? Can I see it?

      Thank you yet again for talking me into this. Still miss your comments on your own blog. It's like google taking away features that we actually like.

      Delete
  4. I imagine hell being the place where I'm never allowed anymore coffee. I'd worship anything that prevented that :-)

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    Replies
    1. Maybe there are several levels of hell or purgatory or sentient carnivorous plants or aliens...Dude, I need video game therapy! STAT!

      Delete

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