I Blame Coffee For My Impertinence

I was walking, enjoying the crisp winter air and a sinfully good latte, when a woman approached me eager to hand me a flyer.  Usually, I shake my head politely and silently regret the waste of paper; but this time I was under the influence of COFFEE, so I stopped to listen.

In a very self assured tone she declared: "The final judgement is coming, the signs are here, the world is coming to an end."

*sip* I had finally met one of those nice folks on the Internet. 

"When exactly is that going to happen," I asked.

"The date cannot be known, but  very soon", she claimed.

"Within the next 60 years?"

"It is not known."

"Shouldn't we do something about it other than wait to be saved? End violence, poverty, greed and war..."

"We have been ruled by the devil for 6000 years. He is very powerful. He was put in charge of this world."

Hmmh. "If the devil is in charge then that would mean that this is actually HELL. How the frack did I end up here???!?"

I left while she deeply contemplated this novel concept. They do make great coffee in hell though.

Ode To Coffee

BC (Before Coffee)

Who moved the kitchen?
Cats! Why are there so many cats?
Why is it that one has to be awake to make coffee before one is awake to make coffee?
Where did all the cats come from? Why are they in the kitchen?
Incomplete thoughts and senten
Write to do list: TOO Do Dodo Thndo Frodo The ffpmppp TO DO
1. Fix something
2. Can't remember
3. Still can't remember
4. Can't believe how much work I have to do
5. Write to do list
6-10. Do something
11. Drink coffee

AD (After Drug)

The molecular structure of coffee is enhancing my neuronal activity. To do today:
1. Feed cats, make coffee and breakfast for HQ, paint cabinets, organize papers
2. Say YES to any new project
3. Paint masterpiece fresco on ceiling
4. Speed read 5 books
5. Prove new theorem
6. HOMG! I AM A GENIUS!!!!
7. World domination
8. Design groundbreaking new space ship
9. Go for a run