Cognitive Dissonance And Then I Lost The Plot

By Dan Golden

Confusion has set in. Belief systems are being tested. Paradigm shifts are in progress. The chronic pull of internet distraction (the new drug of complacency), has replaced the increasingly insubstantial television programs (the old drug of complacency).

Like a prospector at the height of the gold rush, too much time is spent sifting through the dirt searching for precious metals.  Too much time has been spent arguing, discussing and explaining the most basic principles of science to the ignorant; without action. Futility is the new exercise program.

Then came a storm, which took too many by surprise. "T'was foretold". There is nothing like being faced with the most elemental of forces to trigger primal responses. The strange exhilaration of experiencing a real threat that requires immediate action. Then comes the satisfaction of knowing that one is as prepared as one can be, and that there are alternatives. Alternatives that are not necessarily comfortable, efficient or convenient, but nonetheless available.

*Hugs can opener*

Some need a reminder of how precarious life is. Others express gratitude for what they realize they actually have. A few pretend it never happened.

The story writes itself. Much is irrelevant, but everything is subject to change.

Conversation Stopper

At least every 4 years I get dragged into conversations that I do not want be having and gain no knowledge from. Depending on the company, these monologues often contain conspiracy theories, unverifiable information, little humor and various doom and gloom scenarios.

Devout self-preservationist that I am, I have developed a repertoire of responses, which stop any attempt at talking about pol*litt[icks:

1. I completely agree. We need to start taxing babies. All that free-loading suckling and cooing needs to come to an end.

2. Sooooooo. Which corporation are you voting for?

3. I have been experimenting with gamma radiation as a solution to the world's problems. You might not want to stand so close....I think my ear fell into you drink. Sorry about that.

4. I cannot talk about it. It's classified. *whispers* Phase 1 of the dumbification project is complete. Let the Age of Ignorance begin. Huzzah!

5. That's why I have been stockpiling. Toothbrushes are on sale and I need about 3000 of them. I am guessing we can all come to the surface in about a century or so.

Unbreaking The News

The Dystopian Times February 2212 Edition
Breaking News:

Another Outbreak of Mass-Panic
"We wanted to keep people in a healthy state of fear, but we are still adjusting doses of the government issued Perplexor TM,"  explained Brian vonNut, PharmCity official.
Read less here.

Escalation of the Bean Wars
The State of New Cucumber has declared war on Mesopotamia in an effort to find the last coffee bean on earth.

Healthy People Under Attack 
Pro-aging groups are demonstrating for their fundamental right to experience illness. 

Other News
Construction of the DeathStar has ceased due to budget cuts.

Owner of Chihuapoodle reunited with her beloved pooch after 80 years. "I have no idea how he got into the cryogenic chamber," stated relieved 182 year old Ethel Bimbrack.

Senator Bombastic still denies climate change as he paddles to work.

LaLa, the world's most successful singer recently released her new album "Humming just one note for 61 months".

Science News
Startled scientists discover that the Andromeda galaxy will collide with the Milky Way much faster than previously calculated. Possibly. In 3 billion years. Or so. Give or take 1 billion years. Maybe.