Evolution Video

Evolution, the name applied to the strange creatures that inhabit this world:




A squeaky toy that does not require squeezing and defends itself with cuteness.

Who says Nature does not have a sense of humor?

Russian Cats Are Evolving

It is no secret, at least in the blogosphere, that I peruse cat videos. During my recent cat video travels I noticed something, because I am strange and notice patterns in trivial things.

Russian cats appear to be evolving at a rapid rate.

In America, cats sleep in sinks. In Japan, Maru entertains by reposing in boxes.  But in Russia, cats are washing dishes.

Exhibit One: Cat washes dishes.



Meanwhile, Flirt, our resident lovable calico moron, (trust me on this, she is as affectionate as she is stupid), spends 20 minutes trying to pull a door open that needs to be pushed. I have been forced to endure her desperate struggles for years. She still has not figured it out. In America, many videos show cute kittens that are still playing with round objects. But in Russia, cats have begun imitating human behavior and are feeding themselves.

Exhibit Two: Cat holding human container with food.
 


Conclusion: The Russian cats are going to invade us. Nobody will see it coming. You have been warned. Do not worry; I am training a highly effective cat army to defend our scented absorbent kitty litter by... *plaintive meowing*

...hang on. One of our cat soldiers is stuck behind the couch. Again. Walking backwards does not occur to her. Rescue team has been deployed.

Climate Change: When Scientists Rap And Swear In Public.

This video has been up for exactly one year. It did not go viral. Comments were disabled due to considerable (ignorant) backlash.

The climate has changed. It is too late to reverse the effects, but there are solutions.

This is the extended NSFW version. There is a clean one. Share. Pass it on. 





Our Planet. Our Future.

The Cat Video Awards

If cats had their own Oscars, their selections might be different than ours.

Best Sound Effects:



Best non-foreign foreign existential documentary: Henri

Best Action Movie (subtitled):




Harley: Hey Bambi. Whatchya doing?
Deer: Doe.
Harley: Oh, it's a game? Okay, I'll play.
Deer: Doe doe doe.
Harley: You're a...ummm...a riverdancer?
Deer: Doe doe.
Harley: Dances with grass?
Deer: Doe doe.
Harley: This is getting a little boring. The Wizard of Oz.
Deer: Doe doe doe doe dee.
Harley: No? Maybe I'm approaching this the wrong way. I think it's trying to communicate. It's Morse code, right?
f-mmpls---smlafrmp----a-k. That makes no sense.

Why do the weirdos always find me? Maybe if I ignore her she'll go away?

Harley: HEY! WTH? DOROTHY! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?!
Deer: Doe big.
Harley: I don't know what you're talking about.
GO ON, SHOO! GET OUT OF HERE!
I SAID NOW, DEER TOURETTES. Go impress the tall green stuff over there with your tap dancing.
You're not a bull, buckaroo.
VACATE MY PREMISES OR I'LL EAT YOU!

Jeesh. Wildlife walks onto my property and shows no respect for the food chain. What's the world coming too?

Today Is A Celebration

A seemingly random collection of videos.

Interspecies friendships between two fish connoisseurs:




If only our diplomatic relations were that endearing.

An amusing commercial:



That ought to take care of that sparkly fanger Eduardo. For good. Drrakoola iz not happy.

Something about Hayao Miyazaki's borrowers over here

What is the underlying theme of all of these videos, you may wonder? That would be Sprite's birthday, a hilarious and talented fellow blogger. You can send her your best wishes at A little Sprite.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 TO

A LITTLE SPRITE 

Sprite, hope you have a wonderful birthday celebration with copious amounts of cake and chocolate. And journals. And books. And art supplies.

When Animals Talk Funny.

I suppose when nature gives you quills that embed themselves in flesh, you can startle off predators with THE VOICE:




I had to check as I initially assumed this was fake, apparently they really do sound like they have inhaled helium or are auditioning for a cartoon.

If Cats Ruled The World

We would live in colonies without hierarchy.

There would be no wars. Only the occasional posturing, hissing and growling.

Our mothers would teach us to play with our food.

The Olympics would include: Short-distance rolling, endurance napping and target grooming.

There would be no catnip doping scandal.

The government would offer cuddling rebates for energy efficiency during the winter.

Everyone would be responsible for their own waste disposal: Don't forget to dig, deposit and cover.

Vacuum cleaners would be banned due to noise pollution.

China would manufacture high quality bottle caps, string and other battable objects. 

['battable': See Revised Cat Dictionary]

We would get to play with new kittens several times a year for early human training, behavioral conditioning and educational purposes.

I have to go. My master just purred my name.

Top 10 Reasons For Posting A Video On My Blog

1. It must be shared because it is humorous or inspiring.
2. I do not have the time or inclination to finish my drafts.
3. Lassitude.
4. I like multimedia.
5. Sometimes videos are better than television.
6. Great filler post.
7. Good reason.
10. And ten.

What better way to celebrate my first post of 2012 than with an amusing commercial?

Future Mode Of Transportation

One could argue that the military is responsible for the development of the mobile technology (from mobile phones to computers), that we have come to depend upon. Since this access may soon turn Orwellian in nature, I thought it would be prudent to show potentially new modes of public transportation, courtesy of passionate human engineering.

Battlefield 3 is a video game that allows for the singular exploration of all vehicles made available by some of our most advanced territorial technologies. Thought their ad was clever:



Update: I am still reading and enjoying your blogs, but am unable to comment for now. I do read and appreciate your comments though.

Occupy Antarctica

Apparently we are not the only species that is capable of feeling entitled to something that does not always belong to us.




Reporter: Black Mask agreed to talk to us if we do not reveal his identity.
Black Mask, how long have you been acquiring Bob's pebbles?

Black Mask: Let's see. This is my fourth mating season.

Reporter: Are you not worried that you will get caught?

Black Mask: Naaaaah. Look around you, there are 5 million of us. I blend right in.

Reporter: Any reason that you have chosen Bob in particular?

Black Mask: Yeah. He has a good eye for the nicest rocks. Knows just what the ladies like.
Not that sharp though, if you know what I mean...

Reporter: Not really.

Black Mask: Hey Bob. Larry was looking for you. Said he found some really nice pebbles 30 nests down.

Bob: Uukay. Thanks, man. I owe you one.

Reporter: Which one is Larry?

Black Mask: Who is Larry?

So You Know You Can Dance: Bird Edition

Good evening, welcome to our first broadcast of "So You Know You Can Dance". The real life bird edition. Branches have been cleaned, feathers oiled and shined to iridescent perfection and the canopy has been cleared of monkey hecklers.

Our first dance contestants make their home in Papua New Guinea. Audience, please give a warm welcome to the dance crew: "The Rainforest Kilts".






Next up is the Wire-Tailed Manakin, tail shaker of the Amazon. Watch him spin 180 degrees at a time, without missing a beat. Give it up for "Little Man":






Last, but certainly not least is the Red-Capped Manakin bird (Pipra Mentalis) from Costa Rica. He is an expert in the difficult to master typewriter move. A round of applause for "MC Mental".




Millions of years of evolution have restricted voting to females only. In an unprecedented move we are opening the phone lines to any gender, including fish and other animals that are in-between or undecided.

Cats Training For Something

Exercise Video with Sparky and Jet:




Sparky: I'm Shparky, cuz I'm bright. I make mashine go.
Jet:      I gotta work off those treats. They call me Jet. Ready for takeoff, Sparky.

Sparky: I make mashine go fasht.
Jet:      Look. I run so fast my paws go blurry. 

Crowd:  Run Sparky, Run!

Sparky: Yeeeeeaaah! Look at me go weely fasht.
Jet:      I'm hungry.
Sparky: I make mashine go shloooow and shtop.

If you're celebrating a long weekend do not forget to exercise. What am I saying? I am not your coach.

Have a great weekend.

Deprived Cinephile

Summertime triggers fond memories of going to the movies and the anticipatory excitement I used to feel as a child and teen.  Back in my time, which was yesterday, there was a period where I had what seemed like unlimited access to University and Repertory theaters.  They showed the gems of film making, many foreign and art house, where the emphasis lay on telling great stories through a visual medium.

It was in those theaters that I first experienced the dark comedy "Delicatessen" by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, discovered the theatrical and disturbing vision of Peter Greenaway, watched and marveled at Ridley Scott's "Alien" and "Blade Runner", craved "The Scent of Green Papaya" or traveled through Italy with the quirky protagonist of "Caro Diario".

Repertory cinemas, where fellow film aficionados sit in respectful silence have been closing. The foreign film section appears to be getting smaller and I do not think I have watched a movie about an artist since "Pollock". As a fellow cinephile friend of mine often states: "They just don't make them anymore".

If you have any unique or original movies to recommend please do.

Within the current trend of CGI and remakes of remakes, "Immortals" looks original and visually interesting. Directed by Tarsem (who also directed The Cell) and starring Mickey Rourke as Hyperion. It may not be deep and profound, but I am hoping for at least some geekcitement.

When Art Meets A Music Video

I have been complaining about the recent lack of originality and creativity in contemporary media.  There have been few, if any, non-formulaic choices in film, music and even art for several years.
A few weeks ago, a friend sent me a link with the message: "EPIC!!!"

I recommend that you watch it full screen.

"Iron" by Woodkid featuring Agyness Deyn:




My first reaction to "Iron" was an eloquent "WOW". The video is dramatic, theatrical and undeniably powerful.  Innovative visual poetry of black and white photography turned into motion, accompanied by the sound of brass and drums.

Some may recognize the archetypal symbolism and attempt to interpret the artist's journey, but only the artist truly knows what the imagery means to him. Aside from the camera work, the lighting and art direction, I also noticed the juxtaposition of war and a Courbette under saddle.  Iron is visually beautiful and is already being described as "epic pop". This type of music is not what I usually listen to, but the song is beginning to grow on me.

I had never heard of Woodkid, who turned out to be Yoann Lemoine.  A film director, photographer and singer/songwriter.  When I looked him up, I learned that many of us may be familiar with his commercial work as a music video director for popular artists.  His short films have won awards and Woodkid "Iron" is his first solo project as a musician.

His site can be found at Yoann Lemoine.

Update June 2011: I was able to find an interview Lemoine gave about the Woodkid Project, apparently the symbolism of the keys will be revealed in upcoming videos. In the interview Lemoine describes his interest in  the heroic journey and creating his own mythology, influenced by Tolkien, epic fantasy and video games.

For the full interview click here.

HumorouS VideoS. The Living with Cats edition. Redux. Bonus: Amazing Discovery of New Penguin Colony

Since it made not sense that the YouTube user who originally posted these videos decided to commence legal action against him/herself, I kept the original post, checked back and there they were. May have been a glitch or the matter was resolved over a bottle of fermented potatoes.

Who moved my potato?

"WAS THERE SOME PART OF DO NOT TOUCH MY POTATO THAT YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND? 

WAS I SPEAKING RUSSIAN IN FRENCH?

NO?

THEN DO NOT MOVE OR THROW MY POTATO IN THE GARBAGE AGAIN, HUUUMAN!!!!!!"
Note: This is an example of aggressive/excited play. Probably a repetitive game as the potato must remain under the fridge at all times.

Since I live with them, I sometimes wonder who is entertaining whom: 


What is it?
It's a mouse? I'll stalk it down. It's not a mouse. Oh! It's moving. I'm a bunny.
Bunnies are scared. I'm a PREDATOR!
*freezes* Whoa! I'm a meerkat?
"Curiosity...". Naaah. Approach with caution.
Back up. Back up. Phew. It stopped.
Here it comes again. I'm a squirrel? A kangaroo? I have 2 paws. No, I have 4. What do I do with them? I'm so confused.
Oh, yeah?! Are you movin' at me? Cuz you ain't movin' much.
I AM CAT! I CHEW YOU!

Just in case you have not seen this amazing new discovery of an astonishing colony of penguins or the previous videos are pulled again just to drive me crazy:





While it may seem like this is turning into a video blog, I have simply been too busy to write, but thought these were worth sharing. Have a nice weekend.

Humorous Video. The Living With Cats Edition, revised.

Remember this? Still wondering why you are waking up before the alarm goes off? Or why you are still feeling tired when you do? This may serve as a little reminder. Provided that you actually live with cats, otherwise you may have other issues.

Author's disclaimer: I do not play silly games like hide and chase. I certainly do not play throw pen off the table and I will pick it up until feline tires of it, nor do I give up my favorite chair, just so furry can nap a few more minutes. In addition, I do not use words like "cute" when they block out the light with a paw over their eyes while sleeping.  Obviously, I also do not watch "cat videos". The author of this blog denies any such ludicrous allegations.

Addendum: There were two more videos posted here, which have been taken down by Youtube since I posted them.  Of course, I am now contemplating Murphy's law and thanks to a fellow blogger, Robert the Skeptic, for alerting me.

Il Gatto Nero

Thumbs up or down?




If Emperor Nero develops his polydactyly into opposable thumbs, we're all in trouble.

There's something about Alan

Just in case your "social" network has not exposed you to the BBC's viral anthropomorphism of our fellow co-inhabitants:






Need more? Yes. It's Myaaawnday after all:







Ever since I have watched these I have had a really hard time keeping a straight face around anyone named "Alan".