Things I Learned As An Adult.

 

Everything should be as simple as possible,

but not simpler.

Albert Einstein

1. Keys need a home.

2. Always purchase black socks. This way the Ankle Crossing Syndrome is easily avoided in professional environments.

3. If a conversation starts with "Is this Atnaros Caryptos?" it will likely end there.

4. A smile goes a long way.

5. Geeks have an advantage. Being called weird is a compliment. Embrace it.

6. Nourish the inner child. It is good for your health.

7. Play nice. Failing that, get some art supplies.

8. Multiple minds are better than one. Share.

9. Sometimes one needs to say yes. Sometimes one needs to say no.
It is important to know the difference.

10. Listen to your own advice.

Women. The 52 Percent.

If women ruled the world, there would be no more wars.

But once a month there would be intense negotiations.

(Robin Williams)

Several years ago, I read an article in which authentic cave paintings were discovered that depicted women hunting alongside men. It shed light on our modern misconception of gender-based division into hunters and gatherers during pre-historic times.

It made sense. At a time when daily life was inconceivably harsh and mostly life-threatening, the "luxury" of excluding capable hands and minds based on gender probably did not exist, due to the limited resource of available human beings.

At least 52% of the world's population (and climbing) are female. That the 21st century still has inequality based on gender is confounding. Their exclusion from decision making positions is cultural rather than ability or capability based. One hopes that one day we will celebrate international best persons day. In the meantime, I extend my gratitude to all the courageous women, who improve our lives.

Given the current global economic and environmental climate, one cannot help but notice that tribes and countries led by women appear to be more successful in the humanitarian sense.  Some of our most intelligent co-inhabitants live in matriarchal societies; dolphins, elephants and bonobo chimpanzees. Considering that their ancestors have been playing the survival game longer than ours, maybe they are onto something.

Today Is A Celebration

A seemingly random collection of videos.

Interspecies friendships between two fish connoisseurs:




If only our diplomatic relations were that endearing.

An amusing commercial:



That ought to take care of that sparkly fanger Eduardo. For good. Drrakoola iz not happy.

Something about Hayao Miyazaki's borrowers over here

What is the underlying theme of all of these videos, you may wonder? That would be Sprite's birthday, a hilarious and talented fellow blogger. You can send her your best wishes at A little Sprite.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

 TO

A LITTLE SPRITE 

Sprite, hope you have a wonderful birthday celebration with copious amounts of cake and chocolate. And journals. And books. And art supplies.

Unbreaking The News

The Dystopian Times February 2212 Edition
Breaking News:

Another Outbreak of Mass-Panic
"We wanted to keep people in a healthy state of fear, but we are still adjusting doses of the government issued Perplexor TM,"  explained Brian vonNut, PharmCity official.
Read less here.

Escalation of the Bean Wars
The State of New Cucumber has declared war on Mesopotamia in an effort to find the last coffee bean on earth.

Healthy People Under Attack 
Pro-aging groups are demonstrating for their fundamental right to experience illness. 

Other News
Construction of the DeathStar has ceased due to budget cuts.

Owner of Chihuapoodle reunited with her beloved pooch after 80 years. "I have no idea how he got into the cryogenic chamber," stated relieved 182 year old Ethel Bimbrack.

Senator Bombastic still denies climate change as he paddles to work.

LaLa, the world's most successful singer recently released her new album "Humming just one note for 61 months".

Science News
Startled scientists discover that the Andromeda galaxy will collide with the Milky Way much faster than previously calculated. Possibly. In 3 billion years. Or so. Give or take 1 billion years. Maybe.

The Antares Teleportation Agency

At the Antares Teleportation Agency we seek to provide excellent customer service to anyone who needs to get somewhere instantaneously.

Late for work? Need a vacation but cannot take time off? Dissatisfied with poor spaceline travel, long wait times at spaceports and cancelled flights due to space storms? Has your luggage been sent to a different galaxy, yet again? Have you returned with an extraterrestrial parasite? Has the FTL drive malfunctioned and your grandchild returns older than you?

Then welcome to the Antares Teleportation Agency. We use star-powered teleportation units to disintegrate you at your original location of origin and reassemble your molecular information at your destination of choice. Imagine the possibilities that we offer:

You could be here for your lunch hour:

Rainforest Botanical Garden, Brazil

Explore ancient ruins during a day trip and return to your own bed at night:

Ta Prohm Temple, Cambodia

Unique adventure destinations for those "extra-special" people in your life are also available upon request.

Special discount rates apply to teleportation commuters.

Why wait? Life is infinite, teleportation is instant.

We accept payment by thought, DNA patent and local planet currency.

Three Second Story

Saw this challenge of writing a three sentence story at dbs, who created an ominous but engaging piece of writing in three sentences. Thought I should give it a go:

Man ponders bridge.
Man crosses bridge.
Man gets to other side.

Your turn.

When Animals Talk Funny.

I suppose when nature gives you quills that embed themselves in flesh, you can startle off predators with THE VOICE:




I had to check as I initially assumed this was fake, apparently they really do sound like they have inhaled helium or are auditioning for a cartoon.