Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pixar Worthy. If Pixar Had a Maniacal Uncle With A Dark Sense Of Humor. Alright, Possibly A Very Dark Sense Of Humor.

Cave Johnson is the CEO and founder of Aperture Science Laboratories, which manufactures a wide range of products from bullets, affectionately called "Resolution Pellets", lasers which are nothing more than "thermal discouragement beams", to robots. A month ago, Mr. Johnson began offering a series of  investment opportunities to its investors.

For further investment opportunities, such as investing in the future of robotics click here

In addition, Aperture Laboratories is always looking for test subjects for its new portal project.  The portal device is a new quantum hole tunneler which allows participants to contribute to society until they expire pass a series of test chambers.  Here is a brief introduction of what a test subject might experience. Please be advised that regulation requires that test subjects are woken form time to time, while waiting for their turn to access the test chambers.

Corporations are the way of the future and science is always used for the benefit of mankind.

On the surface Portal 2 appears to be a puzzle solving game, but what is it really teaching our young and impressionable "children"?

1. Corporations do not always have your best interests at heart.
2. Don't trust everyone who offers you cake as a reward.
3. Science is fun, including physics.
4. Staring at art is invigorating.
5. How science is used is important.
6. Trust your instincts, that voice of authority might turn out to be nefarious or misleading or just evil.
7. Don't buy (into) everything someone is trying to sell you.
8. If science goes incredibly wrong, chances are it was caused by human error or megalomania.
9. Number nine would reveal a spoiler.
10. As would number ten.

Valuable lessons.

Cave Johnson voiced by actor J.K. Simmons.
Wheatley voiced by Stephen Merchant (actor on the original British version of The Office)


Are you still here? You could watch Robot Cooperation or get off the computer. Go on, get outside, enjoy the outdoors, read a book or whatever else it is you do when you're in the real physical world.
Cave Johnson, we're done here.


  1. So wry.
    P.S. Your posts always fascinate me.

  2. @Laoch, If you like video games, yes, it's an innovative, three dimensional puzzle solving game, with great dialogue and comments.

    Haven't finished it, but on my list.

    @dbs, yes, humor comes in many forms:). Entertains my inner Brit.
    Thought I'd share something readers might not otherwise come across or I'm in an experimental stage.

  3. Yeah. Totally get it :)

    "you might have a very minor case, of serious brain damage"... LOL!

  4. I've been debating whether to get this game! Looks cool, but I didn't know if it has what it takes to capture my attention for very long. I'll have to check it out again since it got a stamp of approval from Mr. Cryptos :-)

  5. You just made my day. Portal 2 is a great game, but your post is was better. Haha.

  6. Sorry, can't comment. Have to turn off my computer and go outside.

    P.S. Portal 2 definitely piqued my interest.

  7. Ok so I stopped watching the spoiler video after two minutes.. I want to discover "Portal 2" first hand.

    I absolutely LOVED "Portal" the first version. I'm sadly going to wait until our rainy season (and the price drops) to get version 2. I'm finding myself also drawn to "Fallout - Las Vegas" as well.

  8. @Sprite, it cracked me up too. LOL. Did you notice the "I'm different" turret?

    @Doc Cyn, I thought so too, it's puzzles. Very original, but it has a plot and hilarious throughout. I was told to take my time, to prompt all the funny comments. Have only played a little, too busy right now, so far, I like it.
    It is already being quoted and has only been out for a few weeks. Thank you, my friend;)

  9. @Jono, you played it already? Only out for a couple of weeks and it the lemon speech popped up on a "serious" science site. Cave is quotable.:)

    @Vinny C. LOL. Blogger is sending me messages, it ate my comment, then couldn't find itself.
    Pssst, Vinny, James Cameron mentioned that Skynet went online on April 19, 2011. Portal 2 release dates coincide. Coincidence? I think not.
    Seriously though, how clever is that?

  10. @Robert, I only posted the opening cinematic, it does not reveal much. Picked that one because it alerts people just in case. I have not played Portal 1, but am considering getting it before I continue with this one. It was very short, right? You recommend it then?

    The Aperture Investment Opportunities (there are 4) were released before the game. Along with "Robot Cooperation", which I linked to. They don't reveal the game, but this is one of the most clever marketing campaigns I have ever seen.
    Robot Cooperation reminded me of Pixar short films.

  11. Gaming discussion will see me running in the other direction. :\
    I'm here to let you know that I have an award for you.. I'd love if you'd accept it.. :D

  12. My son is very caught up with Portal 2 and was looking forward to the 2-player version when Sony imploded. Sitting around the corner from him, I heard J.K. Simmons and thought, "This doesn't sound like an ad for insurance..." It seems very witty and challenging. And there you are, a new award. You really are doing something right. :)

  13. Yes, I highly recommend Portal 1, it will likely be a great segway into the latest version.

  14. Oh, those are good.
    What are you doing with that baby, Dave?

  15. @Pencil girl, there may be more gaming related content, are you certain you don't want to reconsider;)
    Thank you for the award, that was very kind and generous of you. I'm still trying to catch up, but I will be over.

    @Marylinn, yes, I heard, hopefully they'll have it running soon again. Until then there is always art and creativity;)
    They put a lot of effort into the script and it shows, it's already creeping into our language.
    One can only hope that I'm doing something right:) Thank you.
    @Robert, thought so, will have to wait then.

    @Al, you should hear some of the others, you'd appreciate them. LOL. I know, yes, pretty much.

  16. Oh my gosh, that second video gave me vertigo! We don't have gaming here except for the Wii, so I won't need to order those cricket robots. Phew.
    And I agree with you on numbers 1 thru 8. Asolutely! :)

  17. Jayne, I thought about that when I posted it, it's hard to get used to the first person view when you're not used to it.
    Games, and I hope it's a trend, are starting to be viewed as educational. Hopefully, it's what they'll start developing.


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