Saturday, March 24, 2012

Spontaneous Humor In The Produce Section

I was given the mission of hunting and gathering a variety of edibles, which included tomatoes. Upon arriving at my destination, I was positively excited that my prey was lethargically stacked in pyramid formation waiting to be selected, weighed, clubbed and dragged home.

Standing next to me at the tomato pen was a very polite looking gentleman, equally tasked with providing nourishment for his family.  As we carefully selected this fruit by color and ripeness in contemplative unison, I noticed that some of the tomatoes had some white dust on them.

Closer inspection revealed that the miniscule white dust was moving.  Unless one is married to an entomologist, this presented a problem. Wistfully, I placed them back. "Bugs," I sighed. My fellow tomato hunter paused, confirmed my observation and followed my lead.

I had moved on to a different, less ripe, non-heirloom variety, when I noticed that he had changed his mind and had decided to buy the infested tomatoes after all.

"The bugs. Maybe they're tasty," he explained.
"Some cultures consider insects a delicacy."
"I think I'll boil them."
"Well, it is extra protein."
"And the store is only charging for the tomatoes. I think it's a great deal."
"Never pass up a great bargain," I agreed.
"You're not getting any?"
"I'll be quarantined if I bring those home."
"Aah! She's a vegetarian," he stated.

19 comments:

  1. Good one!
    Take my wife. Please.

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  2. Random awesomeness. Love it.

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  3. That's great. Those encounters only happen to the people that are willing to talk to strangers.

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  4. Reminds me of one of my favorite Mason Williams songs: "Tomato Vendetta".

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  5. @Al, is she one of them vegerians?
    Doshgonnit, the end of the world is near.

    I conceded to his victory.

    @Meg, thought so too, turned a repetitive task into entertainment.

    @Brett, agreed and I am one of them;)

    @Pearl, silly is good.

    @Robert, not familiar with it, will get to it.

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  6. Buggy tomatoes? eww...

    I'd pass them buy to.

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  7. WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..

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  8. I've heard there were some tribes who rejected entire herds of Woolly Mammoths based on the same reasoning. If they brought home tick infested food they risked sleeping outside the cave that night.

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  9. ? That's messed up. I think you're shopping too late.

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  10. I have a question. How does one "look" polite? :)

    Maybe you should not have been so hasty on dismissing the clubbing idea.

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  11. @Sprite, they were pesticide free though.:)
    They are like aphids; going only for leaves and stems and totally harmless to humans.
    Can be washed off with water and vinegar.
    Sigh. Fine..."eeeeeeewwwww".

    @VinnyC, lol. I like your outside of the box/cave thinking.

    @dbs, too graphic?
    I can certify that they were organic.

    @jono, good question. Dressed "smart".;)

    Tomato sauce was not on the menu. Thanks for the image though.:)

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  12. Sadly I've come close to doing more than just thinking outside the cave many times.

    PS: There's something "Awkward" going on here & I think you may be connected.

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  13. The generations that preceded you built "mancaves" to avert this phenomenon.

    Huh? Wasn't me. Didn't do it. Did not.

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  14. Damn, if only I could frequently meet fellow wise-asses on a day to day basis. I'd feel less gloomy about the human race.

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  15. I can't help wondering what creatures* might be living INside those tomatoes. . . something to do with the pyramid image you offered us first, Ant.?

    (btw, Hello, Ant. - good to see you ; ))

    *wv. ksedory uyiju (= pyramidal tomato tribe?)

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  16. Hello Claire, good to see you too.

    The microscopic world is endlessly fascinating. Mmmmmm...;)

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