Friday, September 28, 2012

Conversation Stopper


At least every 4 years I get dragged into conversations that I do not want be having and gain no knowledge from. Depending on the company, these monologues often contain conspiracy theories, unverifiable information, little humor and various doom and gloom scenarios.

Devout self-preservationist that I am, I have developed a repertoire of responses, which stop any attempt at talking about pol*litt[icks:

1. I completely agree. We need to start taxing babies. All that free-loading suckling and cooing needs to come to an end.

2. Sooooooo. Which corporation are you voting for?

3. I have been experimenting with gamma radiation as a solution to the world's problems. You might not want to stand so close....I think my ear fell into you drink. Sorry about that.

4. I cannot talk about it. It's classified. *whispers* Phase 1 of the dumbification project is complete. Let the Age of Ignorance begin. Huzzah!

5. That's why I have been stockpiling. Toothbrushes are on sale and I need about 3000 of them. I am guessing we can all come to the surface in about a century or so.


16 comments:

  1. Number 1. is surprisingly close to my approach to pretty much every political conversation my older family members try to drag me into. I just blanket agree to every crackpot idea they spout in the hopes of ending the conversation sooner. *smacks forehead*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Problem is when I take that approach they just keep going.

      Delete
  2. Haha! Oh my goodness, I love all of them, 1 through 5. All so clever. Can I borrow them? Heh. ;)

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    Replies
    1. :) Feel free, it might buy you a temporary reprieve, but they keep coming back.

      Delete
  3. It's also easy to stick your fingers in your ears and go "La La LA... Not listening!!!".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol.
      Yes, let's make that number 6.

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    2. Stomp your feet while you're doing it.. that'll chase them away for sure.. uhuh *nods head*

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    3. *grin* and wear a clown costume. That'll stop any and all conversations.

      Delete
  4. There is always, "I have this weird rash, can I get your opinion?". I love #3.

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  5. Replies
    1. Yelling out "#1!". Have not tried that yet.

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  6. You really don't need to worry, the LDS church has huge stockpiles of food for when society collapses (which they are working on as we speak). You'll just need to convert... or starve to death. No big deal.

    ReplyDelete
  7. :)
    Well. The current trend will have a lot of people depending on charities again. Didn't churches provide to the poor and build the first hospitals centuries ago?
    Back to the dark ages.

    ReplyDelete

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