Wednesday, October 3, 2012

December 21, 2012. The day before December 22, 2012.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Start your hoarding and don't forget to use your extreme coupons. Less than 3 months left before absolutely nothing happens.

In recent news, it was discovered that the Mayans did not run out of rock, but continued their astronomical calculations on a different piece of rock. Note: They never predicted the end of the world.

 I am not certain whether the cultural significance
of sticking out your tongue has changed
over the last 5000 years.

Some debunking is in order:

The Planet
The "planet" that defies all laws of physics and is heading our way with its magical thruster system has yet to appear. It should be visible by now. Even amateur astronomers should be able to pick this one up. If it actually existed.

During my own procrastinating investigation of this "planet" on the interwebs, I found many images of stars. Stars are stationary. Relatively speaking. I am being imprecise, but if stars start moving out of their solar systems to go on a little galactic trip, the galaxy is falling apart and then we have bigger problems than stockpiling. If something planet-sized were to collide with our planet, I do not think learning how to survive underground would be very useful or productive. Earth gone. Good luck in space. With your camping gear.

The Alien Invasion
Call me a geek, but I think this one could be really exciting. They would unite us as a species, because the human race would now have a common enemy to hate. I smell global cooperation.

Supernovas
Supernovas? Nothing close enough to go supernova and affect us. If there was, think "Big Bang". Moot point.

Rather than blaming the universe for our sins, maybe we could focus our energy and resources right here on our pale blue dot and do something about climate change, renewable and sustainable energy, overpopulation, mass extinction, pollution, famine, poverty...

In the meantime watch for the unused camping gear sales in January 2013.

9 comments:

  1. So my hoarding of peanut brittle is unnecessary then?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hoarding peanut brittle, cookies and chocolate is always necessary.

      Delete
    2. phew.. you had me worried for a second.

      Delete
  2. Someone has yet to disprove the zombie threat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we are already zombified.
      Wait. What am I eating?

      Delete
  3. Did you ever read the short story by Larry Niven called "Inconstant Moon?" It starts out with the narrator out and about one evening when he looks up and notices that the moon is impossibly bright. Others around him think this is cool and wonderful but he realizes that it most likely means that the sun had gone nova or expelled a huge sunspot and that by morning they would all be dead.

    Good cheerful story.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmm... maybe the alien invasion already took place and the earth-ending-attack will come from within. Waves of stupidity and alien morons will overtake us all! AAHHHHH!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Think it did. LOL. Yeah.
      Either that or we're blaming our idiocy on extraterrestrials.

      Delete

I get paid in com(pli)ments.
Comment, Discuss or Foruminate.
Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.