Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Victims Of The Consumption

"The Consumption Consumeth Us All"
(From the logs of Antares Cryptos ca. 2111)

I am a product of my time. A time when the consumption of goods promises an improved quality of life, happiness and the success that can only be achieved through the purchase of things, stuff, objects and gadgets.

Obviously, I am above all of this. I know that I am being marketed to at all times, that while some experience brand loyalty, my loyalty only relates to the quality of and need for a product. I have very high expectations of my electronic toys and gadgets, I want them to perform exactly as advertised. If I buy a piece of craplastic, I do not want to be dealing with software issues, incompatibility or replace it just because R&D has decided that technology is disposable and should not have a life-expectancy of more than 3 months.

I also need to be able to drop things. Repeatedly. They must still function, not break apart into components that even I cannot put back together. Where is the transformer technology that Michael Bay has promised?

My impenetrable anti-marketing castle was not built overnight. Forcefields of eastern philosophy were erected while living in a cave with a Buddhist monk. "Desire is the root of all evil," he taught me, right after I refused to share my last Goji berry with him.

I am onto the technological fruit corporations that spend more on marketing than putting quality on our shelves. Sleek design and imitation metal will not fool my discerning eye and neither do limited editions that evoke an air of fabricated exclusivity. Pretty on the outside, unimpressive within.

What is this? What am I being shown now? Targeted marketing?


Torpedo shaped dials inspired by the movement of orbiting satellites. Automatic winding powered by twin turbines. Materials made of titanium in Switzerland with Swiss precision. Slick and beautiful digital rendering. Who cares what time it is, when this watch comes with powerful sound effects and a soundtrack that reminds me of a movie about dreams.

The perfect watch for an artistic sci-fi geek. In RL this is not just a piece of metal that hugs your wrist, goes "tick tick" and keeps track of time. This watch will kick-start the lagging economy, enable me to fly and give me superpowers so that I can save the world. The titaniuminator of all watches. I must have it.

Inception complete.


  1. $81,600 for the watch? What? It really is a great watch though. When I win the lottery Antares, it shall be on your wrist.

  2. Ah, there you go, there's your transformer. From watch to superpower. Priceless.
    We are too easy, aren't we? Slap some fancy promo together and they've got us. Well, least some of us. ;)

  3. Oh dear - and I thought I was bad looking at a camera for £18500!

    Bloody marketing geeks turn us from men to morons in a couple of minutes and leave us weak at the knees and drooling uncontrollably as we weep for what we can't have.

    Actually I've met a few women who could do that a lot faster..........


  4. Look! It basically falls together in space, so if I break it, I could surely fix it. Right? That's what this means right?

  5. I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.

  6. I think I was drooling by the end of the video. Then I googled. Oh well. Was that Daft Punk? I kind of felt like I was watching TRON Legacy. It was that cool.

  7. OMIGOSH!!! Iwantitiwantitiwantit! Soooo... pretty... Must have the precious.

    I mean, ahem, it looks impressive.

  8. @Nubian, considering materials and labor, it's overpriced.
    Awwww, thank you. We both know our winnings would go elsewhere.:)
    Yes. It is pretty.

    @Jayne, learned behavior to respond. We all have a marketing Achilles heel.
    Sigh. They got me. They really got me.;)

    @Alistair, yep. Lol: "from men to morons..."
    But look at the mechanism, it's something new and innovative and it has a dial that announces oil change when the watch needs to be serviced and...

    @Paul, excellent point. Although I think this superwatch puts itself back together. In space!

    @Sprite, LOL. Too many distractions of the...

    @Meg, as was I. Probably one of the coolest ads I have ever seen. Agree, it almost felt like they should make a Tron/Inception sci-fi movie out of this. Daft punk meets movie soundtrack?

    He wants the precious, he watching the precious
    Myyy preciousss
    he cannots have it

    Hugs, xo,

  9. After seeing that ad.....
    Resistance is futile.
    Screw my Bulova.
    Well, not literally.
    That would hurt.

  10. @Al
    I bet one can't go diving with this watch.

    Thank you, I saw. Happy.

  11. I think we have found your anti-marketing castle's weak spot, and that weak spot is nerd porn.

  12. @Jono, I know my friend, I know.:)
    Interesting story on Baumgartner & Frei. It took them 2 years to engineer and develop the new mechanism. *Sigh*

    @Elliot, hello and welcome.
    YA Think?!;)
    We all have a weak spot.

  13. I just read an article recently that said most young people today don't wear watches any more because there is a clock on their cell phones. I still have my Dad's "tank watch" from WWII. Wish it still worked or there was an old-fashioned watch maker around who could repair it.

  14. @Robert, odd that you mention that.
    I was waiting in line yesterday and noticed that not a single one of the group of teens in front of me was wearing a watch. It's more efficient to glance at a watch.
    Nice. They are hard to find but still around, worth your "time" to have it repaired.
    Strange how much is being displaced by chip technology.


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