Dear Neighbor,
I understand that as a performance artist the muse strikes you when she does and must be obeyed. I particularly enjoy the part where you use your own physical form to explore and present the effects of climate change. Using natural lighting, framed by everyday objects such as windows is conceptually brilliant and illustrates your commitment to your artistic integrity.
Your repertoire is extensive and must require hours of preparation. The moonlight glinting off your ghostly form was particularly memorable.
Could you kindly provide me with your performance schedule, including your matinee shows, so we can adjust our curtains accordingly?
Truly not yours,
Mee Ice
Dear Mee Ice,
ReplyDeleteI am so exuberated to learn that my art has your appreciation. Up until I received your letter I was afraid it was going unnoticed. In your honor I will be doing a special performance of Swan Lake. Also, in observance of this summer season & the beauty that is the human body, it will be done entirely in the nude.
Please say you'll watch.
Ever grateful,
Your Neighbor.
Dear Neighbor,
ReplyDeleteballet will never be the same. In appreciation for your spectacular performance I am sending you a tutu.
Sincerely not,
Meeeauee Ice
Oh no. Just no. (sending you a *kick* as I laugh at what Vinny wrote)
ReplyDeleteI need to move to your neighborhood.
ReplyDeleteClose.Blinds.Now.
ReplyDeleteCertainly mood music is needed.
ReplyDeleteEven though my neighbors are aliens they live far down at the end of the road. Thank God I don't have to see this stuff!
ReplyDeleteI think nudity in the home is just fine, neighbors be damned. On the other hand, pressing said nudity up against the glass is bad form.
ReplyDeletePearl
@dbs, I know, right? It looks like a bad dream.
ReplyDeleteLol. Yes picturing him doing an interpretive swan dance makes it more bearable.
@Cheeseboy, the shows are free, although not PG friendly.
@Sprite, it's.dark.;)
@Laoch, I'm thinking of something tragic or dramatic. Maybe Wagner.
@Barb, wish I didn't have to be exposed to that.
@Pearl, glass is transparent. Unfortunately, it's the ones that shouldn't that do.
I have no idea what your neighbor looks like but my mind - being as messed up as it is - went instantly to worse case scenario.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm stuck with the image of a balding, overweight, middle-aged guy prancing around to Swan Lake in nothing but a tutu. And he's smoking a cigar too.
AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!
:)
ReplyDeleteAccurate, but no cigar.
Trust me a tutu would be an improvement. Gagh.
Even in countries that are hotter than hot, people still wear lose-fitting clothing.
Maybe due to the recession he couldn't make it to the colony where he usually "hangs out" at. Pun intended.
Wonder how he survives cooking...
Of course you saw the news about the woman in the string bikini being kicked out of WalMart?
ReplyDeleteMy neighborhood remains run-of-the-mill; only the constantly barking dogs which require me to file repeated police reports, or the kids setting off fire crackers (like last night) at 11:40 PM. There is something to be said for country living.
Yet another reason to keep my typhoon shutters closed... I don't think I can see into my neighbors houses anyway. Thank God. Maybe you could anonymously buy him a robe and leave it on his doorstep?
ReplyDeleteThat muse strikes me, I'm calling a cop.
ReplyDelete@Robert, thankfully I spent some time where swimwear is acceptable attire, so I missed the news. I suspect that there are some "issues" involved.
ReplyDelete@Meg, I've been thinking about sending him some shorts, but hoping that his freestyling is only temporary.
@Al, always an option.