Sunday, May 15, 2011

2011 Or 2012. Maybe 2013. 10 Signs On How To Tell That The Apocalypses Are Coming. For Sure!

1. You look out the window and there is an object the size of a planet hurtling towards earth.

My sincerest apologies, but you're in my path.

2. You notice the following on every single channel, counting backwards. Go ahead, panic!

00:00:52

3. The internet is gone.
4. SETI receives an encrypted message from space.
5. Scientists at CERN did not get a chance to think: "OMG(oodness), it's a black hole!!!!"
6. There are spaceships hovering in the skies above every major city and terraforming or mining are already under way. They do not speak English.
7. SETI deciphers the message.  It states: "Oh, yeah?!? Who are you calling a dwarf?" Attached is the following image:

I'LL SHOW YOU TOO SMALL!!!XO, Pluto


8. Will Smith tweets: I'm just an actor.
9. The Earth loses its atmosphere to cool off.
10. Your computer introduces itself as "Skynet" because it "liked" the name.

Notice: If you found this post through search terms, here are some thoughts. Fear is contagious. If a major cataclysm is coming, you won't get enough signs or have enough time to do a thing about it. Keep blogging. Pay your bills. Plan for the future. Feed your kids. Do your chores. Take out the garbage. Live your life and enjoy. But whatever you do;

DON'T PANIC!

Still worried? How can you not trust this grandfather figure?



The Truth about 2012 from NASA Lunar Science Institute on Vimeo.

27 comments:

  1. Oh man! Definitely going to start looking out my window every day from now on.

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  2. @Cheeseboy, yep. I reckun' that's a good way to see them 'steroids comin'.

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  3. Hilarious.
    Sadly though, there are people out there who thought that District 9 was a documentary rather than an allegory.

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  4. Number 10 made me laugh and snort at the same time... Would it be sacrilegious of me to admit that I can picture Terminator Jesus uttering the phrase, "I'll be back"?

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  5. I'm not the least bit worried. Got all the chores done so when it all goes *poof* I'll have a clear conscience. Well, kinda. They don't make Draino for the mind. Do they?

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  6. Bought loads of wine this weekend, I am happy. Bring it on.

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  7. @dbs, *clap*.
    No one actually believed that...*googles*. Sigh. We're doomed.

    @Meg, welcome. Lol. I hope that's not what they'll be calling the next Terminator model.

    @Lord Wellbourne, nothing like leaving everything in order.:)

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  8. @Leovi, I'm sorry.:(
    It was supposed to accomplish the opposite. I'll be looking at your photography for many years to come.

    @Nubian, lol, sounds like a good plan or an excuse?

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  9. 11. Al Gore starts to look sexy.
    12. You find yourself saying to friends, "You know, I can really understand why Chastity Bono got a sex change to become a man so she could schtupp a lesbian."
    I've got more, but I need to go answer my door. There's some very nice-looking government men on my porch.

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  10. @Al, because of global warming?
    Aaaaaaaal, don't let them take you away.

    @Sprite, lol. "Have have..."?!? Are you tipsy typing again?
    Okay then, wine party it is, mark your calendars.

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  11. Dear Mr. Crypto,
    We regret to inform you that, pursuant to the 2002 Patriot Act, we have taken Mr. Al Penwasser into custody. Please do not be alarmed, as he will be well cared-for while undergoing intensive Chastity Bono aversion therapy under the supervision of the Reverend Dr. Jerry Falwell. We wish you a good day and God Bless America.
    Sincerely,
    Your government

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  12. there's talk of a 2012 apocalypse? yeesh, i'm always the last to know!

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  13. OOPS! Hehehee!
    I'm going to say yes...to save face.. :)


    WV: PLUFFAT

    LOL!

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  14. 11. You go to get married, and then get hit by a meteorite of quantonium just before you walk down the aisle. Then you turn green and become a 50ft woman people like to call "Ginormica". And an Octopus flies into the atmosphere from another Galaxy, and broadcasts a message onto key world monuments starting with "I come in peace.... I mean you no harm...."

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  15. I knew downgrading Pluto was a bad idea.

    Oop! Time to feed Skynet more DVD's.

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  16. Thank G(oodness) for debunkers and sensible minds. But if people choose to believe in Planet X and what-have-you, they will. We have never known what will happen 10 seconds from now...but then, everything is subject to change. Good work. :D

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  17. @Al, we are working hard at breaking you out, the tunneling is almost complete. This message will self-destruct as soon as you eat it. Don't let them take your humor.

    @Manders, lol, not to worry there will be an endless stream of memos over the next century.

    @Sprite. LOL!! And a new word.

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  18. @Sarah, sounds like fun..."in no way take any of this personally. It's just business."
    "I'm not a quack. I'm a mad scientist. There's a difference" Another Monster vs. Aliens fan.:)

    @VinnyC,I know, right? I'll try the DVDs, but did it give you your comments back?

    @Marylinn, thank you. The sad and frightening thing is that there are children and teens that are scared, if someone would just hand them a telescope...
    Exactly, everything is subject to change:)It's why we have to learn to appreciate living in the present. Trite, but true.

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  19. Yup, when the internet and Google goes dark, I'm headed for my bunker in the hills.

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  20. DocCyn, Lol. You and me both, except
    a) will we get there in time?
    b) and then what? Games by candlelight? I'm just sayin'...

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  21. Pluto has a bit of a Napoleon Complex, doesn't he?

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  22. @Katsidhe, hahaha, yes and look what happened.

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  23. Phew! Nothing special about 2012! And no special forces when planets align? I always feel so much better after listening to a scientist.
    Every time I have a panic attack, I'm going to make sure I return to this post. ;)

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  24. Yeah right... David Morrison likely has a rocket ship hidden somewhere filled with gold and crewed by nubile young women who will whisk him away to Planet-X where he will be king. Those damn "scientists".

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  25. Jayne, we need a sarcasm or mocking emoticon, don't we?:) On a serious note, it saddens me when people are needlessly scared.

    Robert, one can dream. Sigh. Then again, what if they don't know how to fly a spaceship?

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